Monday, March 16, 2009

What a Week!

I feel like i have so much to say about the past week, i'm bound to forget something! At my last dr appt, we all agreed surgery was the answer. Well, basically the dr agreed that it was my body, my call :o) Wednesday i got off work at 2 and went home to clean- for 4 hrs straight! Melissa brought over taco soup; "crack mix" consisting of popcorn, 2 kinds of cheese its, and m&ms *YUM*; brownies w/peanut butter chips, a bunch of books, and a journal. Normally i am not a journal kind of person, but this gift brought me to tears. We'd just talked about how i was afraid of turning into my mom and all the things i'd do different as a mother. Mel had the idea to journal all the things i want to be as a mom. Now i have a place to write all the things i want to do with my children, things i'd swear i'd never say, and such. After Melissa left, Matt and i went for the "last dinner." it's a dinner i've done every night for all 5 of my surgeries. You make a point to go to a place you dont go much, or that's really not that good for you. We went to a meat-&-3 kinda place i LOVED when we lived in greenville. Stax original is near cherrydale. I was in heaven!! the food was awesome. Matt wasnt a big fan, but he humored me. And i have to brag on Matt, he actually left his phone in the car!! For him, this is HUGE! he'd left work while his guys were still working so we could spend time together. Normally, us "spending time together" would include several interruptions with problems from work and emails for the next day. We had a great conversation and just enjoyed being together. Since matt had never been to my Nanny's house, we stopped by to see her. It's only 4 mins from Stax and my parents will be moving in with her soon, so we just wanted matt to be able to check it out and see the construction my parents had done in their preperation to move. Sadly, I dont remember the last time i got to have a conversation with Nanny without mama overpowering her. it was great! we finally got to hear Nanny's opinion on a lot of things, including a dishwasher we were thinking of giving them. By the time we got home, we were exhausted. We both fell asleep before 10:30!

Thursday morning we woke up at 4:15. I took a shower and got ready for the hospital. Matt and I had a wonderful time just cuddling that morning- actually, a little too much time! We rushed to the hospital and still were 10mins late. Even my parents were already there waiting! haha! Matt had decided he would go back with me for the IV and everything this time. I knew he was nervous, but trying to be strong for me. I guess it finally hit him that he'd see much worse if we were going to have a baby! Honestly, it was a true test of how much closer we've grown through the past 6 months of marriage. i, more than the last 2 times, wanted him with me instead of my mom. What i didnt know was how much trouble the nurse would have! First, let me say i HATE the IV part worse than all of it. the shot that stings and feeling the needle pulling in my skin to me is worse than waking up 5 times before i know where i am. I might have failed to mention that to matt before he volunteered to come back there for all that... I had a tag team of nurses- one asking questions and one taking stats and starting the IV. After a 5 min search for a vein, she pulled the bed off the wall and searched the other arm. She thought she found a vein in my hand after thumping it a million times. the shot sucked and she got the needle in, but she didnt hit the right spot for the fluids to be able to go in. She pulled it out and (while pressing VERY hard on the hole she just made!) thumped the vein less than an inch down from the first try. By this point Matt had his blackberry so close to his face, you couldnt tell one from the other. After an even worse sting from the 2nd shot, we were "hopeful" the 2nd IV would work. she hooked up the Saline and let it drip a while to see if i felt my arm getting cold. I might have stretched the truth a little at that point but i didnt care! After the dynamic duo left, matt peeled himself off the chair and climbed in the bed with me. I must say i was shocked since he held up the wall the last time he saw a tube in my arm, but it was nice to have a moment with him before my parents came back. Not long after my parents came back, they took me to the OR. all i remember is the huge boot-looking things that were the feet stirrups. I even asked if they planned on having me "spread eagle" the nurse giggled and said they'd wait till i was out lol

I woke up in recovery with a male nurse named Forrest. The absolute first thing i noticed was my IV was in the other hand!!! It's actually what woke me up. i asked if the nurse screwed up take 2. He said it must have not been a good enough vein b/c they moved it after i was out. Thank God for them waiting!!

the doctor talked to matt and my parents while i was in recovery. the 1 hr surgery actually took 2 hours. There was a lot of scar tissue. my right ovary was plastered to my pelvic wall with adhesions. Apparently, there was a lot of small buds of endometriosis. The dr said he was glad we did it when we did. He said my gut was right b/c had we waited too much longer, the many tiny spots of endo would have grown and i would have been a mess to try and clean up. He also put some kind of gel stuff in there to prevent scar tissue from coming back. According to what he said, we have 4-6 months to get pregnant. He wouldnt explain what happens if i dont- weird. but he said if we get preggers in 4-6 months and i breast feed for at least 6 months, he believes i have a chance the endo could completely go away. I'm a little nervous about why he wouldnt say what would happen if i didnt get preg in 6 months... There's also a little pressure in only having 6 months to try. matt is still convinced he doesnt want to "try" till i've had my post op. He heard the dr say it was my call. i could be ready in 3 days or it could take 3 weeks... Men...

I'm still afraid to get my hopes up yet. I've thought a hundred times about starting to buy baby stuff or look for deals on baby furniture. i guess i dont want a room full of baby stuff and no baby. But part of me says it's a test of faith. i should start preparing and let God do the rest. So i took the 1st step, i went to Books a Million in the rain and in my pj's and bought 2 books. one is The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy and Breastfeeding Made Simple. Now i just have to convince my husband i'm healed ;o)