This Weekend

Man, does my life feel like a rollercoaster ride lately! Last week was very frustrating and i was ready to give up. (not really, i know i dont have it in my to quit, i just wanted to have a pitty party for a while). But this weekend made me forget how much pain i'm in. Being with Matt keeps my mind off it all. I really feel like this weekend brought us closer. Of course it wasn't the fairytale movie scene i'd wanted, but it was so much more. The bed was hard as a rock, the room stayed at 75 degrees and wouldnt cool off for anything, i woke up at 5am and laid in the floor for comfort and some kind of breeze! I wouldnt trade it for anything. The SunDial was AMAZING! i dont think i've had food that good before. The view cant be described. i took pics, but they didnt do it justice. But the best part of the trip was getting to know my husband better. We know so much about each other and i can even pick up his moods when he can't. But this weekend was incredible. we stayed up till 12:30 laughing, crying, and talking. In ways, it reminded me of when we first started dating and we'd sit around and talk for hours. The conversation was so much deeper though. it wasnt about the past versions of ourselves that we were "filling each other in on" It was about US. Me and him and the life we've created. Our future, our lives right now, my sickness. THAT was worth the trip. I'm so over my freakouts about us not having enough time together. I've seen how close this past 6months has brought us. I know we'll still get those moments after kids- multiplied! I'm more sure than ever that we can start trying to have a baby soon. (and by soon i mean a few months after a surgery and 6 weeks recovery). I still cry everyday and usually over silly things. I still grow out of clothes. I'm still easily irritated. But i understand (and most importantly, Matt understands!) that this isnt me. This is temporary. and it will be worth it in the end. Sometimes it just helps to be reminded of that. And i think that's what this weekend was- a much needed reminder!